Zodiac Signs Gifts

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Well it's ironic given that I'm actually a Capricorn."

"What's your sign?" "Everything but Pisces."

Zodiac, Inc. Employee of the month. Gemini.

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'I'd like to see you again, but our signs aren't compatible. I'm a Gemini and you're an idiot.'

'You are being completely duped by a stranger! She says she can foretell your future, but she is just a con artist...'

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

'And what star sign are you?'

'A Capricorn, eh? I'm a Leo.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Gemini

"I'm a pisces too."

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

Ill next Thursday

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"So, what is your star sign?"

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Year of the Rat

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

"It's my New Year!"

"So tell me what's your sign?"