Zodiac Skeptic Gifts

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

House of Wishful Thinking

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."