Zodiac Skeptic Pillows

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

Year of the Rat

"So, what is your star sign?"

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'So what's your sign?'