Zen Stock Trader Gifts

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

'Superstock'

Chinese stock market

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Turmoil change.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

Out of control

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Shares Nosedive

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

Pound sign in an hourglass.