Zen Seller Gifts

'I put all my worldly possessions on E-BU.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Zenemies.

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Hoarder."

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Enlightened Cursing

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"