Zen Stock Guru Gifts

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Zenemies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"Show off."

Business News.

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Sell South Africa!'