Zen Financier Gifts

Investments: Join out meditation group - 'Get in touch with your inner greed.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Yoga classes door.

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Binary Meditation.

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Working from Om

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I decided on a home based business after my car was repossessed.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Working from OM

Rin Tin Zen.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Traffic Sign Haiku

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

'What is the sound of one ham clapping...?'

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

'Darn! -- Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'