Zen Architect Gifts

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Zenemies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Enlightened Cursing

The sofa freshly made up...

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'