Zen Real Estate Enthusiast Gifts

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga classes door.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Home Sweet Second Home.