Realty Enthusiast Gifts

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

We're not a couple ma'am. Sorry, I thought you were buying a house together. Just friends. I see. Forgive me. Realty King. Is one of you available to date my brother? Not me. Maybe him. Hey!

I sold our condo in Maui, now I can afford Wisconsin.

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

Real Estate Life

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Emigrating to France.

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.