Zen Real Estate Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Emigrating to France.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."