Real Estate Aficionado T-Shirts

"That's the deal for Manhattan. If you have to ask how much for the Hamptons, you can't afford it."

"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

'But on the bright side, house prices are going down.'

"Okay, your story checks out. You're not a Peeping Tom, you're just a creepy real estate appraiser."

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Let's sell the house and move into your tax shelter.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Wiffle Tree Condos.

'Are you sure there wasn't a moat in the catalogue?'

Picture book

'Can't afford a Second Home.'

House Hunters

"He's a motivated seller. Apparently, he was just drafted into the NBA."

'Your Ad mentioned, 'close to transport'.'

'As you can taste for yourself, this property has a very rich soil...'

Tiny house. 'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

'Stay alert. It could be a mortgage time bomb!'

'Home building' going through the roof

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Estate Agent Office

'Twenty bucks for a Manhattan! They bought the whole Island for twenty - four!'

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

"Wait until you see the view from the den!"

The government is warned it is unlikely to meet at 300,000 houses per year target.

"Actually, I think having the lived-in look can help sell your house. Just make sure it looks lived-in by rich people."

Fixer-Uper: Make an Offer

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

"Penthouse duplex, East Sixties, three bedrooms, two baths, solarium, sauna, two thousand square feet, terrace, bird feeder, two and a half million."

"I'm afraid your budget won't stretch to four bedrooms and a garden, would you consider one bedroom with a shared bathroom and access to a communal alley?"