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"I think you can really picture yourself struggling to make payments here."

"When you get a title remember title insurance."

'Look, damp.' - 'Yes, it's in case there's a fire.'

'These lifestyle programmes aren't as relaxing as they used to be.'

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Garages are very sought-after in India...

I sold our condo in Maui, now I can afford Wisconsin.

'They're probably seeking this much sought after area'

A Greek real estate agent is selling a labyrinth to a bull: 'You'll love this one, Sir - it's a nice, confusing labyrinth!'

"The place needs work but the location is fantastic!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Harris Reality: We Make House Calls

"The council were selling off the local playing fields, so I brought one."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"