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"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

'He predicts home prices will go up this year? Yeah, and if I go outside every morning and predict rain, eventually I'll be right, too.'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

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"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Emigrating to France.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".