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"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

'He predicts home prices will go up this year? Yeah, and if I go outside every morning and predict rain, eventually I'll be right, too.'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

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"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Emigrating to France.

Home Sweet Second Home.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."