Zen Garden Designer Gifts

Zenboni

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Yoga classes door.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

urban agriculture

'He took a fetching class.'

Snail trap

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

"Well, since his retirement from British Aerospace the only thing he's managed to do is build a bird table

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Zen Kitten

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"The garden is my résumé."

Dun Decking

Chelsea flower show sewage

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

The urban gardener.

"Legally, we're a farm."

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

"I like your garden humans"

Venus Fly Trap

Installing the garden pond

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

'Mind if I trim the hedge back? It's over mine a bit!'

'With Zen and judo and flower arranging, how do you find time to manufacture semiconductors?'

Yogic Flier / Flymo

'Too small for Santa I'm afraid-but with a fishing rod you would be a WOW in our roof garden!'

"My hair stylist used to be a topiarist."

Ingenuity

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

Zen Kitty