Zen Gardener Gifts

Venus Fly Trap

Yogic Flier / Flymo

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

Zenboni

Working from OM.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Litter Box

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Transcendental Litigation

Dept. de Philosophie

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'