Zen Garden Fighter Gifts

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Cat in a tank...

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

Zenboni

I am one with stupid.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

Transcendental Litigation

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"The white powder is supposed to stop me, but I find it makes the leaves more delicious than ever."

Zen Kitten

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'Must be Pandora's.'

Thanks for helping, Twig! Tree's Tree Nursery. It's winter. I didn't think you'd be so busy. Christmas greens, bulb forcing and holiday plants keep me in business. Thankfully, gardens go dormant

"I'm a plant worker."

Spring troubles a vicar with devil weeds.

Autumn Only $5 Per Bag

'OK, Now let's see your Downward Dog'.'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

Venus Fly Trap

Garden Pest Solutions

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

It's 9 a.m. and I've already offed hundreds of aphids � Decimated dozens of beetles and slain seven slugs. But Nana, you're disturbing nature's balance. When it comes to garden pests � Biodiversity is way overrated.

'Darn! -- Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

Leaf Blower.

Don't sweat the small stuff

"Don't even think about it!"