Zen Investor Gifts

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

'The Dow goes up. The down goes down. Yin. Yang.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga classes door.

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

Binary Meditation.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

Working from Om

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

Money feeds tree of property

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

Working from OM

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Rin Tin Zen.

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

Traffic Sign Haiku