Zen Investor Gifts

'The Dow goes up. The down goes down. Yin. Yang.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Binary Meditation.

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

Working from Om

Money feeds tree of property

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Working from OM

Rin Tin Zen.

Traffic Sign Haiku

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

Binary meditation.