Zen Investors Gifts

"I came up here to meditate...but I do a little stock trading on the side."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga classes door.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Binary Meditation.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Working from Om

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

Money feeds tree of property

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Working from OM

Rin Tin Zen.

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

'I will need to watch the replay.'