Zen Investors Pillows

"I came up here to meditate...but I do a little stock trading on the side."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

The Economy Discovers FFF!

Binary Meditation.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

Working from Om

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

Money feeds tree of property

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Working from OM

Rin Tin Zen.

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

Traffic Sign Haiku

'I will need to watch the replay.'

'What is the sound of one ham clapping...?'