Zen Innovator Pillows

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga classes door.

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

Sea weed harvest.

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Enlightened Cursing

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

Working from OM.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

Binary Meditation.

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

"Mom?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'