Zen Competitor Pillows

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

City Marathon.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Working from OM.

Painter's Duel.

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'

Ignorance and Bliss

Working from Om

He's been like that for hours - I think he's binge meditating.