Zen Executive Pillows

'Goopta believes in a businesslike approach to enlightenment.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

Binary Meditation.

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"