Zen Executive Pillows

'Goopta believes in a businesslike approach to enlightenment.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Yoga classes door.

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"