Zen Accountant Pillows

'As soon as you pay back the money, you can go ahead and stop worrying about worldly matters.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Turmoil change.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

Binary Meditation.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

Working from Om

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

Working from OM

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Rin Tin Zen.

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

'What is the sound of one ham clapping...?'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

Traffic Sign Haiku

'Relax...empty your cache...clear your history.'

'With Zen and judo and flower arranging, how do you find time to manufacture semiconductors?'

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'