Zen Accountant Pillows

'As soon as you pay back the money, you can go ahead and stop worrying about worldly matters.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

Turmoil change.

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Binary Meditation.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

Working from Om

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

Working from OM

Rin Tin Zen.

'What is the sound of one ham clapping...?'

'If I could just speed this up a little, I'd be out of here in thirty years or so.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

Traffic Sign Haiku

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

'Relax...empty your cache...clear your history.'

'With Zen and judo and flower arranging, how do you find time to manufacture semiconductors?'