Young Couple Humorist Gifts

"You'd better switch off your personal alarm I don't want to to disturb your parents."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

"Can you hold a moment? I've asked you before not to donate my organs till after I'm dead."

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"Sounds like you've both been pushing each others' buttons."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'Can I just have the money?'

'The man at the beer store said this ale is made without any harmful chemicals, so I added some myself.'