Young Couple Humorist Pillows

"You'd better switch off your personal alarm I don't want to to disturb your parents."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."