Yard Care Procrastinator Gifts

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Good News about winter

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

The Last Leaf

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"What a magnificent display of fall foliage – a blessing to behold." "*!#@!%* leaves!..."

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

"Next time, don't rake with the dogs."

"Billy? He told me he was going to help you rake leaves."

"I'm taking back control of my borders!!"

The lawn mowing industry was ripe for innovation.

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

"And so it begins!"