Garden Procrastinator Gifts

"I daren't cut that lot down. I'd probably alter the whole eco-system."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

Serious Putty

Housewife: Out of Order.

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

'I asked you to clean the fridge, not declutter it.'

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

Why are you texting instead of working?

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

Champagne cork stopping sand in hourglass

'I could have become a pro golfer, but I didn't want to work weekends.'

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"