Garden Procrastinator Gifts

"I daren't cut that lot down. I'd probably alter the whole eco-system."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

Serious Putty

Housewife: Out of Order.

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

'I asked you to clean the fridge, not declutter it.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Why are you texting instead of working?

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.

Champagne cork stopping sand in hourglass

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

'I could have become a pro golfer, but I didn't want to work weekends.'