Painting Procrastinator Gifts

'Yes he's very keen on 'Do-it-yourself' but no on 'Do-it-himself'!'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

Serious Putty

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Housewife: Out of Order.

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."

"How to deal with weeds."

"But I am working, Boss...My computer is running the data on improving employee productivity!"

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'