Gardening Procrastinator Gifts

"How can I do the garden when you can see it's raining outside?"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Housewife: Out of Order.

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"How to deal with weeds."

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

'I'm out of bags.'

How to deal with weeds

'I asked you to clean the fridge, not declutter it.'

"Do you have anything less - green?"

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"I don't think it's possible for your room to get any messier!"

'Where's the starter?'

"If you can find the mower in that lot, I'll do it!"

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

"Hey, I'm your alcohol-fuelled recurring hallucination, not your alcohol-fuelled recurring maid."

"Well, it's a plan."

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

Low Tide

Bonsai Gardener

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

"EVERY weekend you say we're gonna fix this place up!"

"Ok. Ok - After we probe you, we'll remind you to clean your gutters."

"Baldo, how many times have I asked you to mow the lawn?"

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

"I've decided to eat healthy, so I'm growing a garden in my office. It also reduces the stress caused by working here."

"Mr. Wilson will see you now."

"I daren't cut that lot down. I'd probably alter the whole eco-system."

Earthing Up