Lazy Gardening Enthusiast Gifts

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Inactive wear store.

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Fetch the Boomerang

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

Reserved Parking

The Procrastinatorium.

Gone to seed.