Lazy Hobbyist Gifts

Man has a can of tuna in his fish bowl.

'Gerald now does everything on his 'human transporter' - including mowing the lawn.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

"I AM at my usual position."

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Fetch the Boomerang

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

The Procrastinatorium.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

"We've lost the remote."

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.