Lazy Hobbyist Gifts

Man has a can of tuna in his fish bowl.

'Gerald now does everything on his 'human transporter' - including mowing the lawn.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

"I AM at my usual position."

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

How the goat got square eyes.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Fetch the Boomerang

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

The Procrastinatorium.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'