Lazy Life Enthusiast Gifts

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

"I AM at my usual position."

American Idle.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Homo Zapiens

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

Fetch the Boomerang

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."