Lazy Lawn Enthusiast Gifts

STRIP Garden Center "What's lazy man's grass seed" "You mix it with a bottle of whiskey and it comes up half cut"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Fetch the Boomerang