Lazy Lawn Enthusiast T-Shirts

STRIP Garden Center "What's lazy man's grass seed" "You mix it with a bottle of whiskey and it comes up half cut"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Catatonic

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Inactive wear store.

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"