Xylophone Enthusiast Gifts

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

'Still, small voice of calm..'

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Oh sure, a nice warm bed, a loving family, a career, but what I really miss is having a xylophone."

'Man, times have changed.'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

Double Saxophone

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

I love Marimba

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Despite some initial reservations, the knights were often grateful for Guinevere's presence at the Round Table.

"Being heard got me where I am today."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

Man playing bum-note.

The Ignored Busker

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

Yodelling School: Your calls may be recorded for training purposes.

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

'With this plan, you get Sit, Down, Stay and Rollover minutes.'

"And for that pain deep down in your soul, I'm going to prescribe the saxophone."

Long necked giraffe playing long saxophone

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

"Maybe if you played the xylophone like this cat, I'd pay more attention to you."

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

"Can you believe it? They insisted on the earmuffs so they don't have to listen to my awesome yodeling!"

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

A wolf playing a saxophone under a full moon.

Jazz Bar.

Though he wrote the world's most listened-to melody, few people know of Tony Bombosa, the genius behind AOL Instant Messenger's four-note jingle.

Earplugs £2 a Pair

I don't know how many times I've told Mahovlich - he's the speaker, not the goalie!