Loudspeaker Enthusiast Gifts

"Being heard got me where I am today."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Artist and Musician

"Tong!"

My other cello is a Stradivari

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

The Gong

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Romance"

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

Older and wiser

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

Musical Accidents

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

Justice for a heckler.

I don't know how many times I've told Mahovlich - he's the speaker, not the goalie!

audiobooks...

"What's wrong? Never seen earphones before?"

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'