Xylophone Collector Gifts

IHOX

"Nuts to you, too."

Large print rock'n'roll section

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"What are you doing?"

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Try his land line.'

'Nobody pays for music anymore.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'Music & Gym'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

So close... Yet so far.

I love Marimba

Doug tries to impress his blind date with his expansive collection of Charo CDs.

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

Mick Jagger

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

Baroque Bach Mountain

'This is Ian, my new boyfriend. Did I mention he was a record holder?'

His master's voice

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

At the CD shop.

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

Bell invents the telephone.