Wrestling Watcher Gifts

'Tell the Nielsen people I'm channel hopping, and let it go at that.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Watching the football.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Future Wrestler

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Scales

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.