Wrestling Fan Gifts

'I was reviewing your school's expanded course offerings. 'The Poetry of Quantum Mechanics in the Age of Professional Wrestling' seems a bit contrived.'

'HEAD-LOCK! HEAD-LOCK! HEAD-LOCK! HEAD-LOCK!....'

'So is it a real heart attack, or is he just faking it?'

Jacob prepares to wrestle the Angel of the Lord.

Two champagne bottles fight in a headlock

Sumo Laundry Day

Round two: The champ fights off self-loathing and regret, while the challenger wrestles with self-doubt and insecurity.

'Advertising and lending, sur — but I don't think we're ready for a 'Truth in Pro Wrestling' law.'

"Sis and her boyfriend are wrestling on the couch... He's got her pinned, but sis don't seem mad about it!"

'Some Eastern European Convents had 'Borderline' Testosterone levels!'

Taking control of his opponent, Darren quickly slapped some deodorant on him.

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

'Wrestling was fun. Can I have some more honey in my tea?'

'Foul this up and there'll be no bedtime story tonight!'

"I've got him pinned down in the living room. He's not the monster they made him out to be."

"Can you smell what the rock is cookin'?!!!"

"At the 2008 Olympics, Henry Cejudo became the youngest American to win a wrestling gold medal. His mother taught him that desire can trump despair. And then she taught him how to escape her chicken-wing armlock."

"Feel my claw of death!"

David and Goliath

"What do you mean, it's a fix?"

The rock caricature

Masked Wrestler

"Wildlife just clothes lined Ozone Killer!! This is unbelievable!!"

Business is down 35 percent this week. What's going on? You booted Randy out of the cafe. He's a freeloader. How can business be down? He's a draw. Women come in to gawk and then order food. He gives counseling services to everyone. And, of course, the cage matches. What? I wrestle him out back. We get a big crowd. Wonderful gambling action. Conundrum! What to do? Ask Randy. He's giving advice and wrestling over at Coffee King.

"He seems to have lost his focus since he went into politics."

Win at wrestling.

A missile with a handlebar moustache and glasses

"Dearly beloved, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds!"

"You know, Socrates said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living,' however, in your case, Edwin, it might be a blessing."

Wrestler's Mother

"I'm gonna twist you like a balloon animal."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

Back when the Olympics were nude.

"So...you don't like Beanie Babies anymore, you dig wrestling and watch Spanish soap operas?"

"After Goliath..he never quite matched up to his original promise."