Fitness Watcher Gifts

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Couch and Potato

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Scales

Fat man on scales.

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."