World's Okayest Dad Appreciator Pillows

'You always told me to be honest.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

A Father Clown marking the growth progress of his son's shoe size.

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

Add your kids' ages together...

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

"How long before I have a dad body?"

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

"What do you want to be when your dad grows up?"

Take your Daughter to Word Day

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"I hope you've got planning permission for that?"

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

'We will fill in that space after we hear what you have in mind for summer vacation!'

Dads.

"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."

The Dad Great for Car, Home, or Office!

"Sounds like someone should have talked to the Three Little Pigs about homeowner's insurance."

'I think he's getting serious. He's laughing at Daddy's jokes.'

"What?"

'The Sunday funnies in PowerPoint... your dad is awesome, Billy!'

"Dad's got an imaginary friend too, he's called Techincal support"

'Clearly every one of these suspects has stolen my identity.'