Workweek Survivor Gifts

Things are not going well. Before I try another plague I'm going to try doubling up on Mondays...

"It's Friday!!"

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

Office Weather

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."