Workweek Warriors Gifts

"I'm all for it so long as it doesn't effect my overtime."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Glastonbury. After.

I could have danced all night!

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'