Work Week Warrior Gifts

Newspaper reads: Retirement age raised -

Back to Work

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Glastonbury. After.

I could have danced all night!

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Friday

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'