Work Warrior Gifts

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"I hear you worked so many hours you passed out for 20 minutes. I just thought I'd make it clear that I'm not paying you for those 20 minutes."

'I'm the only one left..'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Let's just say this hasn't been a Monday morning of magical thinking."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'Wow, she's still here! That's what I like about Sally, she has a great work ethic!'

'I had a terrible day. . . but the money was good.'

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Job Stress.

Did I have a bad day? Well, I had a full head of hair when I left this morning..

Busy day at the office.

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

"Daddy's going of to defeat terrorism in subtler, economic ways."

"Just when you think you have nothing more to give, you have to work until eight."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"