Workplace Warriors Gifts

'And this is Mr Whittingstall...He's in charge of compliance.'

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

'Nothing at work ever seems to upset you, Mike. How do you manage that?' 'Easy! I try to keep a positive attitude, visualize success and practice healthy self-talk. And that pre-frontal lobotomy I had last year really helps, too!' 'I suppose it does.'

'I tell this to all recent hires. Good enough is neither good nor enough.'

"Put me on the intercom. It's time for the Morning Motivational Roar."

'We demand shorter hours.' - 'Right, your lunch hour comes down to forty minutes.'

'Wow! My first day on the job! Tell me, is this place as great a place to work as the recruiters told me it is?'

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

'As an unpaid intern, Peabody, I think you're the ideal person to explain to the workforce why it is necessary for me to cut their pay in these difficult times for business.'

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

"It happened at work. The glass ceiling broke."

"Remind me to speak to Johnson about not always blaming your coworkers!"

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the break room.'

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

Run, Mike, Run!

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

Here but not in...

"Look, it's either 50 words a minute - or 5, if you want them spelt correctly!"

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"The company has implemented a fitness program. From now on all employees will climb the rope to their offices."

"Remember when I was your unpaid intern, and you said to stay in touch, well....

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'T.S.I.F.'

If Only...."I've heard that our new manager is competent, knowledgable and easy going...!"

"Martin seems to be happy here, but wait 'til he's been here a day."

The Workplace Dress Code

'Into the river? Just because I fired you C'mon...feel free to use the company sediment basin!'

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

"Welcome. Here are your I.D. and your emotional support animal."

"Redundancies are expected at the sewage plant as you know...I'm sorry Trevor...you are going to have to stay."

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."