Workweek Survivor Pillows

Things are not going well. Before I try another plague I'm going to try doubling up on Mondays...

"It's Friday!!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

Getting through the week.

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'