Workplace Happiness Gifts

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"And this is where we all gave up."

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

Office Ergonomics.

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

I've refiled all your letters under L.

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'In case the guys organize a game.'

Just a little heads up!

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."