Work Satisfaction Gifts

Are you happy? Sure, great company to work for and great company car!

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Soaring Profits

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

"I go that extra mile!"

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

Job complaints on road signs.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

Just a little heads up!

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

'Another day another dollar Maurice, but boy do I hate kids!'

'Henry, you've earned one of my famous pies.'

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

'I started out as one of the good guys but I hated it.'